100th POST!! - Overcoming Insecurities

I've finally reached 100 posts! For the longest time it seemed as if I'd hit that ages ago, but due to a turn in events and a lack of posts, I'm reaching it now. But overjoyed nonetheless! Can't believe I've committed to something for this long.. LOL.

For my 100th post, I figured I'd write about something a little more personal. Insecurities.

In case you haven't noticed already, my eyebrows are quite large. Growing up, that was the furthest thing from cool. There was no Cara Delevingne or no January Jones, just lil old me. Needless to say, I was mocked relentlessly and became ridiculously insecure about them. I tried everything to have the small eyebrows everyone else had that I lusted over, which resulted in multiple mishaps and plenty of waxing faux-pas. 

After many bad experiences in trying to rid myself of the fury creatures above my eyes I realised

1. How weird I looked without them

2. I was stuck with them

Instead of working on getting rid of them, I channeled my eyebrow energy into grooming them, and by high school I really got the hang of it. In primary school I got bullied quite a bit, then as I moved to a new school for middle school it lessened, then lessened again when I went to a new school for high school. Either people were getting nicer, or I was getting more skilled. I like to think latter. 

An eyebrow moment that really stuck out to me was in 9th grade during science class. I was in a classroom of people I'd never met before, which was quite the scary experience. A few weeks into the year, one of the more popular guys spoke to me from across the classroom, "Woah, Latisha, you have the coolest eyebrows, I love them!" completely out of the blue, and completely genuinely. 

I guess hearing someone who was almost a stranger giving such positive feedback on something I'd been so worried about all my life really struck a chord with me. I'm not saying I needed someones approval in order to feel okay, but it was more of a reassurance. I was getting the hang of things, and feeling more confident and someone noticed, and it made all the difference. Since then, I've never looked back.

Now, I constantly get compliments. The other day at work, an older lady, who is a regular, commented on how Elizabeth Taylor-esque they are circa the late 1950s, and made note of how "in" and beautiful they are.

Moral of the story, you were made the way you were for a reason. Don't try to change yourself, especially the things that make you unique. I got a bit lucky as thick eyebrows are now quite trendy, so who is to say your insecurity won't be the hottest thing in a few months?

Stay gorgeous!

xLB

Boston 2013

HELLO :) so a few weeks ago I went to Boston for a bit so I thought I'd share some pictures! While I was there we managed to catch the final Stanley Cup game which was pretty cool, even though Boston lost. Great trip!

Entertainment | Pinkberry with Mango & Strawberry

Such a beautiful city!

Dinner at a Diner | With my Sister | Essentials

Happy to have tanned feet | OOTD | Breakfast

Boston Commons, so pretty

Boston statues decked out in Bruins jerseys

Reminded me of the Little Mermaid!

On a little boat ride with my sister

Gates | Hydration | Interviews.. shooting downtown

Along the Freedom Trail

At the TD Gardens (where the Bruins play)

The final game of the Stanley Cup - Great game, sad loss for the Bruins

SNAPCHAT! | A Pirate ship! | Walking on the dock

Essentials II | Us by a tree.. lol | Trek Home

xLB

Update *

Hi friends,

Sorry I haven't been around much lately, here comes the dreaded "Woe is me" explanation post.. 

I've just been having a rough time lately. My boy and I have been going through a row for awhile, my hamster died, my best friends are fighting and there is massive flooding going on in toronto which has ruined my plans for the week. Such a shame! I've just had a lot going on lately and haven't had much time or motivation for anything, much less blogging. Hopefully that'll change in the coming weeks as blogging is something I love doing.

In the meantime, if you really miss me, be sure to follow me on

twitter // instagram // vine // keek // snapchat : lbechkos17

xLB

Summer Goals

I've been awful with blogging lately, and I'm really sorry about that. Between working full-time and trying to catch up with old friends who I'm now around to see, it's quite difficult to find time to sit at a computer and write away! But I'm hoping for that to change. With that, I present to you some summer goals!

1. Run More: I've been trying to get back into running again, but it's hard to find time. So my goal for myself is to run at least 5k at least once a week, and hopefully to develop that into even more. I'm having trouble getting the stamina to run and can't run 5k straight, so that is ultimately my goal. However the first step is getting out running!
2. Get Back to my Skincare Regime: Lately with working early in the morning and passing out when I get home, or working late and passing out when I get home I've been slacking on my skincare regime. I just never have the energy to do it when I get home from work, so a goal for me is to get back into and find the time!
3. Drink More Water: I've always had a rule where I could only have 1 glass of something other than water or tea everyday. With being at work all day in range of juices and pops and other fab drinks I've had a hard time sticking to that, so a goal is to get back into that as well.
4. Save More Money: Being back at home, a main goal is to save money. However that isn't going too well.. but mainly because I've maxed my Visa a few times and had to pay that off along with paying off student loans, but now that those are on track it's time to save!
5. Post More Food Journal Posts: The thing I love most about this goal is that if I'm posting these posts it encourages me to eat healthier since it would be a little embarrassing for me to post fat-filled caloric nightmares instead of healthy, tasty treats! My goal for this is to start doing Food Diary posts once a week!
6. Post More OOTDs: Fashion is one of my passions, especially having gone to school for it, so I love styling so a great outfit makes me feel so wonderful and accomplished. However, unfortunately the only clothes I'm seem to be wearing are my work uniform and sweatpants.. not very glamorous, but I'm hoping to change that! 
7. Blog More: In general, just to start blogging more! I've gotten off track and have been posting in a month what I would post in a week, and for that I apologize, but here's to hoping I get back to posting!

Okay sooo those are a few of my goals to work on! Do you have any? If so, what are they? Let me know :~)

Since my blogging is a little all over the place lately, follow me on my other social media handles to keep in touch until the blogging regulates!

twitter - instagram - tumblr - pinterest - bloglovin - ipsy

keek/vine/snapchat: lbechkos17

xLB

#BellLetsTalk

Today, 12 February, Bell Mobility (A Canadian service provider) is holding their third annual Mental Health Awareness day. What's so great about this is that for every tweet (on twitter) hashtagged with "#BellLetsTalk" they donate 5c (which converts to ~3p for you brits) to Mental Health Programs! 

In the past they have raised MILLIONS with the initiative.

As you may or may not know, this is a cause I hold very dear to my heart, so to me this is absolutely incredible. There has been an overwhelming response so far, and halfway through the day we are at 1.5M which is incredible in itself! BUT how about we raise even MORE!?

For the next 10 hours hashtag ANYTHING you tweet on twitter with #BellLetsTalk so we can get the word out and raise awareness for mental health, while also raising money for such an incredible initiative! 

I also did some Q&A with CAMH (Centre for Addiction and Mental Health) so hopefully you can check that out too! In the meantime check a blog post we did here.

Thank you in advance, and I really hope some of you are able to take some time out of your day to support an issue you, or someone you know, has gone through.

xLB

twitter: @bell_letstalk
my twitter: @lbechkos17
some of my mental health story here

❤ 25 Things I Love..

It's all about the little things.. :~)

1. ❤ Poptarts
2. ❤ Cats
3. ❤ Floral Print
4. ❤ Stationary/Notebooks
5. ❤ Pyjamas
6. ❤ Candles
7. ❤ My iPhone
8. ❤ Peonies
9. ❤ Smiles
10. ❤ The internet
11. ❤ Pizza
12. ❤ Reading
13. ❤ Instagram
14. ❤ Baths
15. ❤ Makeup
16. ❤ Netflix
17. ❤ Hot Chocolate
18. ❤ Baking
19. ❤ Nail Polish
20. ❤ Big Jumpers
21. ❤ Pastel Colours
22. ❤ Tea
23. ❤ Disney films
24. ❤ Shopping
25. ❤ Warm Weather

xLB

2013 || Week 02

 an OOTD | LUSH/VS Haul | massive reindeer at the mall | red denim & combat boots on the tube

VS wings I was obsessed with | Mr. Greenjeans for lunch | my sandwich.. delicious | LUSH hauling

super casual OOTD | arm Candy | glasses & russian red lips | snack twime; hummus and veggies

lettuce pita..? | experimenting with a new glitter | tea | fav sweatpants from my sister

blanket cocoon | face mask.. weirdo | graphic design class | dexter & tea, yum

sunset from my window | one of my jobs hitting #1 restaurant | an OOTD | nails x ring

weird chairs in my class | vanilla iced coffee | ootd post-spending entire paycheck on books | textbook

ring + shoes | music/drinks with the girls | hot chocolate fixings | watching clueless, favourite

always in this blanket.. | typical breakfast | pad thai takeaway, delicious | my fortune; interesting

2013 || Week 01

Panoramic picture of my backyard in the winter, so pretty!

Grilled Cheese mmm | Cold walk with my sisters | in bed lol | Ice cream & American Horror Story

Hot Chocolate | Delicious candle | Breakfast | With my sister

Horsey day | Candles, wine & The Weeknd | A selfie because I liked my hair.. | Work dinner

Addicted | My mother knows me too well! | Ramen for dinner, yum! | Saturday night in (sick, boo!)

Nails.. | Chili & beer for dinner | A blackberry face mask | How does a nail even chip there..?

Pictures of the Week: Holiday Edition Part II

At the Cinema seeing Monsters Inc 3D | With my puppy | Book I want | Selfie in my sisters bed

My favourite; pancakes! | Evening at the arena | Pictures my sister takes.. | Outfit in motion

Rose in my hotel room | Dinner at the hotel | Day vs Night | Bath with my sister 

Stockings | Nandos with my sister | MAC Girl About Town | Makeup Haul

Jumper & Pyjamas | Hot Chocolate | Dream Proposal | Achievement; sales at Zara

Dinner from Druxy's | OOTD, omw to work | throwback of my future hubby | Train picture

I'd say yes.. | Tired of travelling | Hummus and crackers mmm | New Years Eve at work 

Chinese food & Champagne with the fam | Fortune | Starbucks refill | Panera lunch with my best friend

Pictures of the Week: Holiday Edition Part I

Work Christmas party | My boo | Weird umbrellas at the mall I work at | Getting all glam-d up

Typical work dinner | My morning | Home with my puppy, at last | An afternoon well spent

My dog in a gift bag | Delicious drinks with my sister | Cinema to see the hobbit | Veg goodies

Christmas nails | Jack & (diet) Coke | Christmas eve food shared with my sister | Christmas Eve Onesies

Christmas Tree | Christmas morning Patriotism | Christmas brunch | Table setting for Brunch

Favourite place to be | Christmas dinner I made | Letter from my love, Conor | Gift Cards (EEE)

Boxing day shopping | BEST poutine | My hamster, Mr. Pickles | Starbucks 2 for 1

Pictures

I was at an event recently for work and brought my sister as my date. They had the cutest photo booth set up and I just got the pictures back and thought I'd share :) they're so funny! xx

OOTD post from the night here

xLB

Depression..

I have a tendency to write deeper, more detailed posts late at night. Albeit relatable, this is a very personal post, so if you're not into personal you might as well stop reading now (it's okay, I'll forgive you). Here goes..

Depression is a growing pandemic in young adults which doesn't receive enough attention. 1/5 women can expect to develop clinical depression at some point in their lives, and 1/7 men. A Canadian statistic found was that 6.5% (>1/4 million) of youth/young adults in Canada met the criteria for major depression within the past year.

Depression is defined as

1. Severe despondency and dejection, accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy
2. A condition of mental disturbance, typically with lack of energy and difficulty in maintaining concentration or interest in life

I found this alarmingly accurate to how I constantly feel when I get these feelings.

I, myself, have suffered from depression for the past 5 years. And honestly, it's one of the hardest yet more rewarding things I have ever been through in my life. There are days where I feel so much pain and where I feel so worthless and just don't want to do anything at all. It sets me into a state of being numb. However, it has taught me how to cope and who is really present in my life. For me, I'm not always in a per say 'depressed' state. I'd say it's turned more into extreme mood swings, but not spontaneous mood swings. For the longest time I had no idea what was wrong with me, but the worst feelings would overcome me and it was just absolutely unbearable. I just wanted someone to tell me everything would be okay and for all of those feeling to just vanish. But for the life of me I couldn't talk to anyone, and just pushed people away.

I first started gets bits of it around 7 years ago when a very close relative passed away. It wasn't depression, but it was definitely buildup towards it. 2 years went by and I was still the same, I just had bits of sadness, but nothing extreme. Then 5 years ago when I was in high school it seems now as if it all just hit me at once. I want to throw out a little disclaimer; I didn't have a bad high school experience. I wasn't bullied, I didn't go to a school where there was a significant amount of it and I had a good life. Now you might be thinking I'm some pretentious drama queen. And that's somewhat okay I guess since it's your opinion, but hear me out at least. I promise I'm not. When I was in 10th grade it really just hit me all at once almost. I came to realization that there wasn't anything I was good at, or passionate about, I didn't really have friends and I couldn't get male attention for the life of me. These feelings all kind of snowballed at me as I continued through high school. In 11th and 12th grade I hit my all time low. It started not even being about the same reasons, I just always had this cloud over me. It affected everything I did those two years. I began doing poorly in school and not putting anything into my relationships with family and friends. This caused me to lose a lot of friends, but also realize who my real friends are. I felt so alone, which was the worst part of it all. Once I got out of high school and into post-secondary things started to get a lot better. I wouldn't say I had this epiphany where everything became better, but my head just clouded less and I realized that I was given life for a reason, and that I need to try to make the best of it. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments. That's why I'd say it's now a mood swing type thing. I don't have the same cloud over me, but depression isn't something that completely leaves you. Sometimes I'll just inexplicably get in an awful mood. There won't be a reason or a trigger for it at all sometimes, it just happens. But I'm getting used to it, and I've really learned to cope.

Which brings me to my next point; coping with depression. For me, once I get into these states the first thing I need to do is get myself out of the situation. If I'm with people, I need to get out and be alone. The next thing I need to do is be in complete darkness and silence. If it's light or loud it often get trigger a panic attack for me, along with many other things depression has also caused me to develop terrible anxiety, especially socially. One of the best things for me is to take a nap and drink lots of water, I almost treat it like I would a migraine, which kind of makes sense.. Then once I feel slightly refreshed I vent about whatever it is I'm feeling, and if anything caused it what caused it. However one of my biggest things is I can't talk to people about these things. I always feel like I'm burdening them. So things I do are: 1. Write a letter 2. Write a post on my private tumblr 3. Write into the thoughts room (see this blog post) I've learned it's not healthy to keep things built up inside, so since I can't talk to people I try to find other mechanisms to cope.

By no means will these feelings go away over night, but the only things you can do is hope for them to go away, and try to make a life worth living for yourself. For me, it's the prospect of the future that gets me going. I constantly set goals for myself and map out accomplishments I'd like to achieve. By having something I really want there to look forward to it gives me so much more hope and motivation.

Another thing I really try to do is treat others the way I'd like to be treated. Even though it's not what I'm thinking/feeling I'm always smiling and giving compliments. Not because I'm being fake or any of that, but more so as wishful thinking. Maybe one day it will become how I feel, or maybe someone else is having an awful time and that smile could completely turn it around, you never know. If you continue smiling, and try to find more reasons to smile as time progresses it will become more genuine and real to you. You just have to keep at it and keep pulling through. Find things that make you happy and stick with those. If there is any negativity in your life, get it as far away from you as possible.

All in all, focus on the positives, not the negatives. There are always going to be negative factors in your life and I'm trying to tell you sadness will go away forever. But you were given life for a reason, so try the best you can to cherish it and make the most of it. Someone out there is so jealous that you're alive and well.

And finally, if you ever need anyone to talk to I'll always be here to listen. Don't ever hesitate to message me by any means of your choosing. I'll always be here because I know what it feels like to feel completely alone. I love you xx

xLB